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Our four-year old twins, Jenny and Julie, were in bed, quite asleep. They had been finally worn out with their new toys, their grandparents' daylong visit, and the late Christmas Eve church service the evening before. My wife, Cindy, had asked me to clean up the wrapping paper and packages strewn about the tree while she drove her parents back to their home in Mt. Norton, about thirty miles distant.I paused in my primary activity to scan the living room, with its wrapping and ribbon scattered about as though a tornado had just ripped through it. This had been a good year for us all. We had many blessings to count, and the bounty of our children's Christmas was a mark of that. I honestly felt that this past year had been a gift from heaven.This notion reminded me that it hadn't been such a good year for everybody. Our nanny, Marta Rivera, had been deported in August. The INS had caught up with her and sent her back to Peru. Thankfully, they had taken her into custody at her at her own. Why now after all this time?“Can I sleep with you tonight sis? I want to feel held and loved.” We have done it before when we were younger but she seemed pretty scared and shaken up so I said ok.“Oh thank you so much sis. You’re the best sister anyone could ask for. Goodnight! Love you!”“Love you too sis. Goodnight.”I hope she meant it the same way I did when I said it back to her. She wanted to spoon and be held which made it the hardest night of my entire life. I couldn’t sleep knowing I was in love with my sister.When she fell asleep, I got up to get this journal to write down all my feelings so they don’t build up inside of me and then just explode. I can’t believe I am in love with my younger sister.” -ChloeAfter that, I would have to write in my journal all day just to mask the feelings. Sophie would always ask me what I was writing and I just told her my thoughts about life and stuff. I didn’t tell her much more because she could never find out what I was really writing.
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